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In this day and age, where everything must be perfect and delivered fast to satisfy customers, it’s very easy to forget the fundamentals and let ourselves get caught up in life’s events - which you have no control over.
People in general are getting more demanding and are always looking for instant-gratification wherever they look… but at what cost?
In this article, I’ll share with you 3 secrets that you must know when it comes to being happier.
1 - Slow Down
A lot of people don’t know this and make the mistake. You cannot be happy if you’re rushing all the time.
Now, don’t get me wrong: there is a time and place to speed up. For instance, being fast and having this sense of urgency in whatever you’re doing might be a great way to improve your productivity and get a lot of things done. In short, it’s a great way to achieve.
However, this is a horrible strategy for happiness, which requires you to be fully present.
Take some time out of your day to step into the present moment and live it. Pay attention to what’s happening around you, the sounds that you can hear and make use of your senses. Start living more in the present and less in your head.
When I look at someone, I can tell right away if this person is happy or not just by knowing what they focus on on a daily basis. Each and every day, our focus can go in only 3 directions: either the past, the present or the future. They all have pros and cons.
PAST: It has great value and you can learn some life-changing lessons in it, but too much focus on it can be harmful and lead to regrets. Have you ever met anybody in your life whose hobby was to look back on the past and repeat ‘I wish I’d done that instead’? This is what I’m talking about.
FUTURE: It is great too, because this is where your goals and dreams are. Living in the future is a great indicator that you’re an achiever, and that you’re moving forward in your life. However, too much focus in it can lead to unhappiness: succeeding in business doesn’t make your life a success. In fact, it’s not rare for very rich people to be miserable in certain areas of their lives such as health and relationships as some of them focused too much on money before realizing that it’s not what is going to make them happy.
PRESENT: By definition, this is the moment you are living right now. Living in the present is amazing for happiness, but not so for achievement. Have you ever known some people who are the perfect illustration of: ‘’Taking each day as it comes’’?
As you can probably guess by now, you need to balance and extract value from the three of them.
2 - Focus On The Right Things
Focus is one of the strongest, most practical and easy-to-use tool that we all have at our disposal. Its power lies in its ability to trigger any emotion that you can think of just by changing your focus. In other words, you have the power to shape your reality.
If you’re constantly thinking about the bad things that happen in your life, no matter how good your life might be and seem to other people, you won’t enjoy it. The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the lens through which you look at life.
Asking questions is the best way to shift your focus: questions hook the mind.
Here are some questions you can ask yourself to change your state and focus right now: ‘’What do I love about my life?’’, ‘’Who do I love?’’, ‘’Who loves me?’’, ‘’Why am I happy?’’.
How the question should be phrased is extremely important: no matter what you ask, your brain will find an answer. If you ask yourself low-quality questions such as: ‘’Why does everybody hate me?’’ which presupposes that everybody hates you, you’re going to be unhappy. On the other hand, ‘’Why am I happy?’’ presupposes that you already are happy and so your brain will find reasons why.
3 - Let Go Of Control
It’s completely normal for human beings to want to be in control all the time, but this is simply not realistic. You might have control over what you eat, but you do not have any control whatsoever about the economy, or your boss which might fire you anytime.
In that case, you need to adopt the right mindset: accept that all you have control over, is your inner world. You can choose how you feel or respond to somebody, but you can’t control their response.
Once you get this weight off your shoulders, life will be much easier as your happiness won’t depend on external circumstances anymore.
You don’t need anything from the outside world to be happy. You can be happy right now, at this moment just by choosing to. It all starts in your head, with the proper mindset.
Start using those 3 secrets right now and see how your life changes.
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